Thank you for the well stated journal entry. As a father of a 15 year old boy who has Asperger’s and depression and anxiety I can completely relate. My wife and I have had many days like yours. Everyday is a challenge and some days are just hell. My son was the one who told me about your project. The one saving grace for my son has been music. Our son plays guitar, bass, drums and writes songs and attends School of Rock. As I write this we are watching Cheap Trick at the hall of fame. Music has saved our boy and we attend many concerts. Continue being a great mother and find time and friends for your own support. Thank you.
Allison, as the grandmother of a sweet boy battling the effects of autism my heart goes out to you. You are using your gifts to help others, I love your music and will plan to use it. I have noticed that our grandson responds well to video, he loves “Signing Time.” Are you considering a video component for your music?
Ms. Peterson,
I have 15yrs old boy and 12yrs old girl.
They are healthy, but I had very hard time to communicate with them, and am still having sometimes.
With your post, I am noticed that it is like the case with older people. My parents are 80yrs old, very healthy, but they’re getting weaker slowly, naturally. I need to talk with them patiently. Feels like the case with kids. I’m taking very long time to be a mother mentally, I’m still learning to be an older daughter for my parents.
It is very challenging and you are doing great work.
I wanted to share my friend’s work with you, the Autism Acceptance Project, which promotes acceptance of neuro diversity. http://www.taaproject.com
Her son is non verbal but sings and types; is very articulate and like you, she is doing all she can to bring out his gifts while challenging the idea that he needs to be fixed.
Blessings to you & your family.
Thank you for sharing your tough day. We love our kids so much. We get so much joy from knowing them. But dang it’s hard when there is no school. Every time there is a natural disaster or other reason school is closed I think, " what are those families doing?" How do you explain power outage, or you can’t drink the water?
I know my nephew Andrew whose mom is my cousin put her through alot as he was growing up. He’s found an interest in online video games and outbursts are controlled by this.
I work with children that have autism and other disorders, many times I see them have trouble with change of weather or stress in the classroom/home.. They feel the change of things much quicker than we do. If one morning the enviroment is differnet in the house-( stress,cold or hot outside not enough sleep, but mostly to much noise really bugs them). When I’m working with them I usually take them to a quiet place until they calm them selfs down or we just walk outside. Some of the children are not able to talk so we use cards with symbols on them so they can point and tell us what is bother them. When to much noise is going on in the classroom we give them headphones to block out most of the noise from the other childrens play or talking..
Each child is diffrent and special in so many ways.So we work inpendantly with each child goals and cheer them on when they have suceeded. I wonder if he can tell when you are not feeling well? I do not know you so or your child, But wish you only the best it will get better as he gets older and he is able be his true self. I agree your daughter is your rock when things go a rye and god bless her for that gift.
My son is 11 now but when he was younger, boy do I remember myself crying. And sometimes I feel like his sister gets lost because she doesn’t understand why he obsesses. Luckily SHE’S a patient kid. I’m getting there and I hope you will too. They need us and yes, we have to be there for them. Let’s all try to be here for each other.
“There’s never a dull moment in your house!” I pray for dull moments.
“She’s such a cutie!” That’s why she’s still alive ? (You’ve gotta have a laugh sometimes, right?)
“He’s so thoughtful and smart!” At home he is the most difficult person to live with that you could ever meet.
“Don’t worry, when he becomes a teenager, he’ll be eating you out of house and home!” No he won’t. He’ll still have Aspergers and he’ll still have difficulty swallowing everything that doesn’t fit his narrow parameters of taste and texture.
“You’d never realise they had autism if you didn’t say.” Try telling that to the people who stare at us when one, or both, of them while they scream and fight above all the noise in a shopping centre. Or spend just one whole day living with us.
Then there are the days we wonder if we even speak the same language as the kids. We too go through days where we think “What is their problem today??” “Is it a full moon?”
And while I’m reading this I hear them both yelling and being so uncooperative for there dad first thing in the morning that he’s wondering if he should even go and play football this morning, leaving them here with me alone. But he needs an escape too.
Only other people who deal with special needs kids really understand what it is like to live this – Every. Single. Day.
I am so grateful for your blog, and that you have a comments section for me to vent just a little on the lives we lead. I have my Facebook as an outlet, but some days that just brings comments of people not in our situation trying to tell us the solutions to all our problems. Sometimes all you need is the written equivalent of a hug. So I’ll send some hugs to you too.
I’m so thrilled for you that your Pledge Music campaign has started at last, because what you are doing is so important. I sincerely hope you reach your target and can achieve all you want to do with it.
And now I must go rescue my husband from certain insanity…
I could barely finish reading this entry. I just got home from work and my eyes are watering. What a trying day the 3 of you had. I loved how you wrote that you’re little boy is in there somewhere. He is. And your daughter is such a help to you. Thank goodness. I don’t have children and don’t pretend to even begin to comprehend what you go through every day. I just pray you have moments of peace if that’s all you’re allowed right now. I like that you wrote it’s not his fault and you have no choice. It’s not his fault and you do have a choice, you choose to be a loving, protector and safe haven for your children an awesome mother who is fighting the good fight. You’re raising beautiful children and I pray that one day your son will know what you have done for him, what all of you have done for him. I hope both your kids have a successful first day at school tomorrow and you can take a breather for a bit. God bless you … I’m praying for you tonight. Sincerely, Elle
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Alison Peterson
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